People often get uncomfortable, angry or sanctimonious whenever the subject of cheating comes up depending on the audience. Perhaps it is a case of those who live in a glass house should not throw stones! Sexual emotions are well less understand by most people including those who are supposed to be versed in the subject-married subjects. Hosea 4:6: “my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge….”
I smile when watching films with my kids and the scene turns to sexual one. Then there is a quick flick of remote but this is not the case when someone is being shot, beaten to pulp in marital kungfu style or even perhaps raped!
Is it more natural for man to kill or be violent or have sex? John 8:7 “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” The fact of violence in the society is easily acceptable these days as depicted above than sexual scene or love. For clarification am not talking about pornography here.
Sexual emotions and expressions have a wide range of spectrum beyond the scope of this discussion.
It is important to note that emotions are not stable virtue or has a validated constant response to particular stimulus as we see in physics.
Human emotions are not cast in gold, and it requires higher authority or training to put our emotional reaction under control sometimes. Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.”
For instance soldiers and some other highly trained professionals such as doctors are generally expected to have a stable and controlled emotions and obey instructions.
Both sexes blame each others and argument sometimes rift on who is at fault or which sex is most promiscuous. Galatians 5:19 “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery.”
There are well known proneness factors to cheating and personally I don’t agree cheating is any more common in one particular sex; or one sex is anymore prone than other as it takes two to tango.
I can divide the risk factors to both internal and external. We have control over internal risks but little over external risks.
Often our female counterparts talk as if they are victims. It is “biologically” easy to blame men who cannot control their members but the cork is useless without a bottle!
It is important for couple to understand that NO ONE is infallible given appropriate stress or risk exposure. And therefore there is need to be sensitive to each other needs and have a good communication channel.
Some of us take care of our dogs or cats more than we give attention to our spouse for instance and expect him or her to be there when nature calls.
iPads, iPhone and other similar gadgets have taken over the bedroom in most homes and often not only late into the night but also first thing in early mornings while your spouse is sleeping. No wonder he or she thinks you are cheating.
Simply explaining what you are doing will not work or cut the ice, be sensitive, repent and change!
Fundamentally the issue of cheating goes deeper than skin.
Cheating is abuse of self, a self gratification release or act rooted in “animalistic response” operating through the limbic system rather than higher cortical control. 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”
We can see from the dawn of time that “curiosity kills the cat” when man failed simple instruction not to eat a particular fruit. Genesis 3:1″…….Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
Humans has natural tendency because of “choice” capability to disobey and prone to self rebellion.
Through history as we see in Genesis man cheated on God with various other gods. Man is fundamentally flaw that even Ten Commandments was not enough to call them to order; very few qualify under the law.
How did God approached and solved man cheating on Him? He did this with expression of genuine LOVE by coming in human form. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Needless to say role play or first hand experience is one of the best form of teaching. Through Jesus in human flesh God was able to understand what is wrong with man in flesh and canal power.
However Jesus conquer flesh and proved that it is possible to live a holy life. Colossians 2:15 “And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.”
And become a role model or channel a path for us to salvation in LOVE, no more law or blood of bull or goat! The issue is to love God first, then love our neighbours as ourself and love our spouse unconditionally in exclusion to all others. Mark 12:30-31 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”